My Patriotic Middle Finger

No joke

Jul 06, 2026

Your author’s afflicted right hand, which for now appears almost monumental. (D.C. fireworks photo by Amid FARAHI / AFP via Getty Images. Bandaged hand photo by Tom LoBianco/24sight News. Graphic by Tom LoBianco/24sight News.)

I never realized just how much I use my middle finger until the 250th anniversary of our sweet, rugged and beautiful democratic republic.

My finger’s been patched up and bandaged for two days now, I’m hunting and pecking this column with pincer-like precision. Every sharp zip of pain when I accidentally turn my wrist a certain way or bump my splinted digit is a revelation of its many uses beyond sending a certain message.

I hold it high to reduce inflammation, but not too high because, well, not everybody reads past the headline.

I was thinking through my big column on our 250th anniversary Saturday while cleaning the dishes when I mystified myself with the heady realization that I share the same first name as the man himself, Thomas Jefferson!

Surely there was hot lead in there somewhere.

As I one-handed two 1970’s style Corning Ware mixing bowls (with the gold etchings running along the sides, popular during America’s Bicentennial) the bigger bowl slipped and I reflexively dropped my hand to catch it, which sent a quarter-inch thick dagger of glass-ceramic Pyroceram into the P3 distal phalanx of my right middle finger.

I looked at the skin flap as my blood drained out and thought was that I should probably rinse the blood off the wall, the kitchen’s enough of a mess to begin with.

Then I reassured myself I could handle this with whatever’s left in the Band Aid mix pack upstairs.

Then I saw the skin separate more as I turned my hand and thought that maybe this was getting out of hand.

I wrapped up my hand in a green dish towel and flagged down my neighbor who rushed me to the ER.

Long and short, after steadfast help from friends and family, great care from the ER team and successfully hoisting my right arm aloft like suburban dad Statue of Liberty for a few hours, I’ve got a reminder of our 250th sliced into my middle finger.

This is not a New Jersey Salute, nor some patched-up, pointed poke at a politico; just me saying hey. (My kiddo laughs when I wave hello to her now.)

I hope everyone had a good 4th. I hope it was enjoyable, relaxing and full of whatever Americana fills the hearts of you and yours.

I’m healing up ok now and should have a better sense soon of the new etching in middle finger in a few days.

And as I rock on my keyboard between my index and ring fingers, I’m grateful for the guy who I share a first name with and the innumerable leaders from then and onward who have made the U.S. a beacon of representation by and for the people, through great and ongoing struggles.

Onward to our next 250th!

Some programming updates

If you’re on the road and looking for a fun listen check out some of my latest hits.

I joined The Julie Mason (Hello, Pooligans!) recently to talk Mike Pence’s book tour, a Chinese spy effort to recruit me and the latest on the Life Church scandal out of Indiana.

I had a great time with the team at Spy Talk last week talking about the China recruiting effort on their pod. Veteran journos Michael Isikoff , Jeff Stein and Karen J. Greenberg got me thinking about a lot on this wild story. Catch it here!

And I gave a readout on the latest regarding the “Democratic Tea Party” on LiveNow from Fox last week after the Colorado primaries.

Coming next week

Longtime fans and readers know I’ve been deep in this Indiana church investigation for months and months now (hard to believe it’ll be one year of reporting this in just a few months.) Look for more dispatches in the coming weeks.

Meanwhile, I’m about to launch a new report I’ve been chewing over for months now. A relaunch, really, of fan favorite The 24 Seven. But this one will be just a little bit different, more holistic, and land once a week.

Also, this weekly feature will be for paying subscribers — my way of saying thank you and an incentive for anyone looking to support independent journalism.